I have been alone in my office for the last 30 minutes or so. At least, mostly alone. There was, of course, the brief visit by a thief whom I caught going through the cupboards.

I was working away when I heard a drawer close. Wondering how a drawer closed without me closing it, I went to investigate. Kneeling on the ground in front of the filing cabinet, “doing up his shoelaces”, was a young sweaty man with a backpack on.

Darryn: What are you doing in my office?

Burgular: Tying my shoelaces up, what does it look like?

Darryn: It looks like you are a thief

Burgular: I’m not a bloody* thief, the door was unlocked

Darryn (Bluffing): I am going to call security

Burgular: What for? I am just here to tie up my shoes

Darryn: Open your backpack and show me what is inside

Burgular: *bleep* you’re a *bleeping bleep*

The Burgular opened his backpack and satisfied Darryn that there was nothing of ours in there, and the sweat pattern on his back showed that he came in with it.

Darryn: Leave the office now

Darryn escorts Burgular to the office Lobby, where Burgular pauses.

Burgular: You’re a dog. You’re lucky I don’t smack you one. Calling me a thief!

Darryn: Out

Exit Burgular

For the next 5 minutes my heart was pounding a bit, and I was glad that I am Big, and was able to appear threatening enough to make the Burgular leave without incident.

I think we should get one of those devices that makes a chime when the door is opened. The door is locked now.


  1. I think I would have just started out by hitting him with stuff. Then again, if I was a thousand feet tall and intimidating I would probably just talk to him too… Good thing he was just a dumbass and not someone really dangerous.

    Thanks for blogging. Hopefully there will be more within the next 6 months or so 😛

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