On Friday night I decided not to go out and to have an early night, so that I would be able to make it to Al and Jill’s wedding by 12:30. I ended up spending the whole night talking to Bunni, including a 2.5 hour call to her mobile. I am curious to see how much that ends up costing. It was worth it, we had a great chat.
I was on track to get to the church by 12:00 when I found out (too late) that the Harbour Bridge was closed. I had to take a massive detour through the Harbour Tunnel and then the Cross-City Tunnel, which got me to the church at the same time as the bride. I decided to hang back but she ended up taking ages to go in, I could have entered 20 times.
The ceremony was, as they always are, not massively exciting. It is always the receptions that are win. As Jill is Scottish, there were a lot of kilted men in the crowd, including the groom and groomsmen. Al has been trying for weeks to get me to wear a kilt – guaranteed to get laid, he told me.
Jill was by far the happiest bride I have ever seen. She was beaming the whole time, and looked very beautiful. No-one sang the hymns, even the priest was just moving his lips. Something that I don’t recall ever seeing before: the best man handed the rings to the priest and he took them to the back and cast a spell on them before letting the bride and groom put them on.
After the ceremony, outside, I got to catch up with Michael and Anna, Win and Richard. They are good people. It was revealed that Al had told all of us that the others were wearing kilts. He wanted a lot of kilt action, I guess. Richard invited me to go climbing with them, they go once a week. He also reminded me of my drunken promise to do Narrowneck again. I try to follow the advice of Ernest Hemingway, who said:
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
After the ceremony was a harbour cruise, which I did not attend due to terrible memories of “seasickness” during my uni days. I opted instead to go home and sleep. For some reason I never have any trouble sleeping during the day. It is nighttime that keeps me awake.
The reception was held at Banjo Patterson’s house in Gladesville. The speeches were made before dinner and I would have to say that they were some of the best I have heard. Jill’s father was the standout speaker, starting with a recital of the first verse of The Man From Snowy River, which worked well with his thick Scottish accent. His timing was perfect.
Inside for dinner, and I am on the Singles Table. Five women and two men, and the other guy was no competition at all. He wasn’t deliberately single, like I am (or claim to be). Two of the women locked their sights on me straight away, and since I was not really interested I naturally charmed them. It is only when I really like a girl that I get shy.
I kept getting SMS’s all night, which I had to excuse on the grounds that I was “on call”. Really it was my friends lining up the activities for later, including a booty call. Yay! Now three women were after me. Ego growth accelerating. Thanks Honey from James Duffy for the haircut, and megablasters for the slimness.
The meal was excellent, especially the fish that I had for mains as it had two perfectly cooked Japanese scallops underneath. I love scallops. The wine was also quite good, but I did not drink much as I had driven and did not want to have to cab it to Gladesville in the morning to pick up my car.
After dinner the floor was cleared and the happy couple did a couple of Scottish dances. Quality viewing. One of the girls asked me to dance but I didn’t want her to like me too much so I told her the truth: that I don’t like wedding dancing. I just don’t feel right dancing to Abba unless I am very drunk or on wonderful drugs. Instead we went outside for cups of tea. After two, I was outta there. My feet needed real dancing. This was about 11PM.